If you remember from a post months ago, I told you the story about the eavesdropping hotel owner in my hometown named Nanda. How I knew nothing about her until she sent me a ‘friend’ request on Facebook in order to monitor my private/public life on behalf of a family who stalked me in the summer of 2021, in order to feel significance. ‘Two stalkers don’t make a right,’ I guess you could say. The issue is in my past yet that interaction with her still pops up in my mind a few times a month. In my psychology I’ve finally gained insight into why she’s always on my mind. Sure, the experience was a nuisance, yet it was unimportant in the whole scheme of life. I realized recently, that I still harbor some resentment toward the event, even more than the main people involved in that conflict. The reason being there is a part of her personal culture that reminded me about things I hated in myself. Up until the last year, I had this desire to be a ‘show out.’ To do things to get attention for my own vain glory.
I’d mock it in my thoughts each time she would post a photo of herself on social media with political candidates as if they were personal friends demonstrating that she was ‘connected.’ Or the times she’d brag about her art work and have it displayed in the local chamber of commerce. Or the times, it was obvious she volunteered herself for a local news write up to mention: her children were physicians with internships at an ivy league school, that she’d lived on three continents, that her art was commissioned, and that in her bio for her seat on the chamber board that she was involved in at least 4 other boards in town, attended an ‘ivy’ herself and on and on and on. The way she presented herself was comical to the point of desperation. Yet, I saw some of her in me, in all of us. The sad part was no one really mocked such behavior when they probably should have. Both concerning her and ME!
Memorial day weekend 1986 brought dad, myself and my brother to Marietta, GA for a soccer tournament. The lasting impression from that weekend was not that we played well or poorly. Not that we gave effort or not. It was dad laughing at me while also being deeply concerned about my behavior on the field. A fellow member of our team made a great play. Our coach stated: ‘great play….great hustle so and so.’ I turned to the coach and stated: ‘What about me……what about me coach!?’ The problem was, I’d done nothing to warrant any praise. I’d done everything to warrant mockery. Thankfully, our coach was merciful enough to pretend my actions did not happen. My father rightfully never lets me forget it though, when I seek self adoration. It begs the question; do I have ‘Nandaitis’ or does Nanda have ‘Johnitis’? Although, she and I are more acute and more farcical examples, most all of us struggle with ‘over self importance.’ Secular psychologist call it a need. Clergy call it sin. Social media, in modern times certainly propels the issue to horrific proportions.
Candidate, as you know, there are those who run for office or unfortunately are in office who have ‘Johnitis’ and ‘Nandaitis.’ They don’t know anything about passing a bill to help any constituent. They certainly know bluster though. They do and say ridiculous things to get attention. Our news cycles bent on profit before austerity are all too willing to appease, as they are just as desperate for attention. I look at myself now and really discourage myself from seeking office. Because, I still have levels of ‘Johnitis’ I don’t think lend to properly being a SERVANT. I don’t care what side of the political fence you are on. I’ve greatly admire Georgia Senator, Jon Ossoff. He got elected and that was the last you heard of him. It feels like he got sucked into an alternate reality compared to other congressmen. I remember the scene on t.v. where he was about to take office. He quietly, without much facial expression looked ahead and walked into the ceremony of start his term. That was it……the end! I was so jealous and admiring of him all at once. Not that he was well known now. But, that he was so selfless. Here in Alabama, my U.S. Rep, Robert Aderholdt, goes into office post elections and you don’t hear much at all from him. Now, I don’t agree with 100% of the way he sees policy, yet after election season, you hear nothing at all from him. Except in those times his staff does a fabulous job in addressing my concerns in great detail. Same for Birmingham metro rep, Gary Palmer. Same for Terri Sewell. Candidate, please be that person who is only known during a campaign and then disappears during office. Not, duty wise of course, but ‘attention’ wise. So many in office do the opposite. They disappear ‘duty wise’ and appear every week, ‘attention wise.’ That’s the type of SERVANT, I want to be if I’m called to office. I’m not there yet! That’s the type I hope you will be. There are some bad comedians out there and there are some great ones. If you do ‘life’ for your own glory, you better hope you don’t procure the wrath of a great comic and he/she doesn’t pick up on your story. You’ll get rightfully butchered.
#Alabamapolitics
#JonOssoff
#RobertAderholdt
#GaryPalmer
#TerriSewell
11/15/2023
JCB
